5 October 2007

What has a hazelnut in every bite?

Those of us who were brought up in the seventies will remember a certain chocolate bar with a jingle that asked this very question. In playgrounds the country over, the reply (Topic!) was replaced with a far less palatable -but funnier - alternative line (Squirrel sh*t!). Remember that?

I bring this up because the other day I was unfortunate enough to discover some poop of unknown origin right in the middle of one of my lovely slate chip paths. I was pretty sure it wasn’t cat doings as I usually find those buried in the beds. And, although I’m no expert at identifying wildlife by their droppings, it wasn’t big enough to be from one of the local foxes. Also, it had landed sometime in the afternoon between me pootling in the garden, having a cup of tea and then going out again to refill the bird feeders. So, I was unsure what it was that had used my path as a convenience, but I did know that it was sneaky.

After muttering sundry blue phrases under my breath I scooped it up as best I could with a trowel in order to dispose of it under the trees in next door’s garden (honestly, that’s not as anti-social of me as it sounds, I promise). Without wanting to be utterly disgusting (it’s not as if I’ve taken any photos), I need to tell you that the UFO (unindentified faecal object) fell apart on the trowel, revealing six or so nuts or seeds that might have come from inside plums or perhaps damsons. There was only one possible conclusion.

Not content with plotting to turn my little garden into a local horse chestnut forest, the neighbourhood squirrels are now also crapping on my paths.

Filed under: Wildlife — Clare @ 11:37 am